I have too many alarms going in my life. My phone, my computer, all buzzing at the same time. I need to just step back and chill.

I need to relax when worrying consistently about my classes. I will figure this out, its not impossible. Just difficult. Life is difficult. focus. Take some summer courses. Overload. There are things you can do to reach your ultimate goal. I just have to get myself into gear. Focus and work with the school and my teachers. I can do this. take Spanish or Italian or something over the summer. get that out of the way, find a science that will work, do it. Figure out my Education stuff. Anything, and everything. I will get done...but how long will it take?

Yep

I don't particularly care for my job anymore. As such, I would like to find a new one.


Thats about it.


I have been looking and found some interesting things now I just have to fix/create my resume. Is this interesting to anyone? Didn't think so! Carry on.

Just a quick post

to say Thank you to Scott Lockman for linking to me on his blog.

IF you found me through there, please stick around. I have some interesting things planned and it won't all be semi-philosophical questions of self like the post below.


-IblametheReds-

Suggestions, Comments, Concerns? E-mail me at Iblamethereds@gmail.com

What have I become?

Sometimes I don't know what in the world I want. I want to do well in school and yet I don't put in the effort I once did. I want to prove I am smarter than you, but I don't try and learn anything new. I want to get in shape, but I am not willing to work for it. I want to be be more frugal and concerned about my money, but I keep buying frivolous things. But most importantly. I want to prove I am a moral and upstanding citizen, but when was the last time I thought out and questioned my beliefs. I have stagnated, become bored (boring) and complacent. Whats the point in life if I don't think about things? Anything. I used to think of myself as an amateur philosopher. What was the last topic I discussed? Who is a Skrull? Well it can't be Luke Cage that's too obvious. Its clearly Echo. Really? This is what I have become. I am a shell of my former self. Empty and Apathetic. Just a quick line I stole and a joke that's old.

I need a shave

Currently I am on Spring Break. I was going to do something. I was going to do lots of somethings, and now...its Thursday and I have gone to Wawa, and appeared in the background shots for something for Comcast onDemand. That is it. All my plans gone, trips gone, time wasted, homework incomplete. I keep telling myself I have a couple days still. But that doesn't really matter cause I am just going to sit in my basement, looking at my computer screen. More excuses. Today I woke up too late, I had work, I am tired. Man up. I still need a shave.

-IblametheReds-

guy at work

He still paints his fingernails black. He stands there. His stringy hair hanging sullenly over his brow. He rolls back his head, throwing his hair back and pulls down a knit cap with the company logo emblazoned on the front. He lackadaisically looks forward. Paper or Plastic. The girl he longs for wanders into his sight and he becomes confused, nervous. He pulls the cap down further and wipes his hands on his Manson t-shirt. He tries to stay calm, cool, collected.

"hey" trying to sound as uninterested as he possibly can, slumping his shoulders.

Well that's not gonna work I think rather loudly as I stare at how ridiculous he looks. I tie a knot in the trash bag and sling it over my shoulder. I can do several things. Wait here and see how this turns out, creepily. Head out the back and walk to the dumpster that way, or cut through the store and at least see how he does. I combine the first and the latter. I "occupy" myself with something momentarily while she rounds the corner and hears his unenthused greeting.

"OMIGOD" I once heard someone say she was convinced this girl was on coke. I can't believe that for an instant. "Hey there 'little brother'".

He has failed again...ugh, "little brother?"...come on...He stands up straighter and makes some joke, it wasn't funny. She laughs anyway, thats the type of girl she is. I sling the trash over my shoulder and head past them to the back. I would feel sorry for him...but really. Black Fingernails? You're in High School.

-IblametheReds-

Feel free to e-mail me about this blog: Iblamethereds@gmail.com